Dipswitch Blog

Yeah, the comic is pretty easy to follow, I suppose.  But the real thing that puzzles me is how we keep hearing that a recession is killing the gaming industry, somehow proving that games aren’t recession-proof. Ask Nintendo about the recession, if you can get past their giant wall of money and naked ladies.

Here’s what Sony says about Microsoft.

And, in a witty retort — Microsoft fires back.

Before you email me, I know the joke in the comic exists in the news article. I think my punchline is funnier.

By way of total disclosure, I own a 360. I own a Wii, too. And, I plan on owning a PS3 sometime in the near future. I just need to pool the insane amount of cash together (and the goodwill of my good lady wife, of course) to purchase one. The recession might not be slowing sales of gear and software, but it’s putting a pinch on the cruft I add to my cave, you know? But anyway, the whole fight is somewhat anachronistic isn’t it? I know there are fanboys of all three systems, but loving your platform of choice, to the exclusion of all else, means you won’t get to play awesome stuff out there that’s exclusive to the infidels. I mean, Fable 2 is XBOX Only, and Resistance is PS3 Only. But from what I’ve played of Resistance at a buddy of mine’s house, the games are impressive on the PS3.  

So, what I need now is a PS3, and to see the glory of great games like…uh…what is out for the PS3 now, anyway?

Alienmastermind

Okay, so maybe three comics at three panels each ain’t exactly a saga.

But it is my favorite game right now. It’s always fun for me, with the exception of playing with people I don’t know. I’ve got a special Saturday comic this week coming out about that, but this comic is about playing with the guys over at Colony of Gamers.

CoGgies are fun to play with, as they’re not complete asshats, and they know their roles when you’re beset on all sides by the slavering Infected of Standard City, Very Big Airport, Creepy Farm, or Bad Idea Tunnel. The comic’s impetus was brought on by two events in the game, one was me getting popped for skulking about in the red without my light on…I sort of brought that on myself, to tell the truth.

There I am, dragging myself from the window of the trainyard in Blood Harvest, hearing the keening of the Witch, turning my flashlight off to keep her from ending my life…then…BANG. “Sorry!”

It’s the “Sorry” that made me forgive all. It was SpockRocket, who said it like Ray Stanz from the Ghostbusters, and that made me forgive and forget. The plan in the comic was a plan I actually came up with for one of the surge points, and it went well. Until the Infected showed up. The thought of just immolating the guy carrying the gasoline didn’t occur to me first, which makes me worry about the state of the human condition in particular, the folks over at CoG. But, on Z-day, there’s no one I’d rather have at my back than the Coggies!

New comic on Friday. Enjoy!

Alienmastermind.

Hey everyone, this entry is a little late in the showing up department. The reason is my sister in law just got married! I got a vacation, and you guys got stiffed on the blog entry.

If, in fact, you read the blog entry.

Now, this is the first comic about Left 4 Dead, and it’s basically a contemplation on the survival horror heroes. There’s four people (except for the rescuers) ostensibly left alive in the world. And, in this scenario of four people, it’s three dudes and one lady. So, the competition’s dead, or dangling from a ledge…you do what you gotta do, is all I’m saying.

The next comic will be up on Monday, as well as the blog entry!

Thanks for reading! And, if you don’t vote for us, you’re not a good survivor.

Alienmastermind

Har-de-har har.

Well, this week’s comic is pretty self-explanatory. It was the product of my opinion that the World Series Of Poker players have become a little ridiculous with protecting their poker faces. I mean, where does it end? A diving helmet from 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea? Which brings me to the Big Daddy’s problem: a very BAD poker face.

Hope you enjoy.

Alienmastermind.

Okay, I’m not sure how many people have been reading the blog as well as the comic. But, this entry is going to be a big thank you to Mike Weldon. Mike is the webmaster of the site, and makes sure the stuff all works so I can put up comics and enter blogs like this one.

The fact is, without Mike Weldon, there would be no www.dipswitchcomics.com . So, thanks, Mike for bringing my game up to another level, man.

And, the new comic is sort of a welcome aboard to new readers, and for all you homies from the past, expect big things from us coming up!

Alienmastermind

Is being good its own reward? Well, if you play Fable II the answer is ‘yes, you stupid a-hole’.

Because in my time with the game, which was very brief…I mean, I beat the game, but the main story, you know the ‘game’ part of the game? It’s like ten hours long. And, I did a LOT of blacksmithing, bartending, and caber tossing. Okay, no caber tossing, but this game is short. We’re talking recessive genes short here. Very, very short. Too short.  

Where was I?

Oh, yeah. Good and Evil. If you’re Evil? You can have a harem of wives, an evil bastard child, you can kill pretty much indiscriminately, and yeah, I think maybe your wang does get bigger. Being Evil also gives you this aura of menace that has no choice but to impress onlookers. Also, someone gives you lip? You just slice those lips off, and make them kiss your ass. Or you can shoot them in the face. The money isn’t bad either. Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta!

But, you come into the game world thinking ‘I’m going to be an upstanding citizen, a nice guy, and do right by my fellow Albionese!’? You think this, but really all you get out is ‘I’m going to be an upstanding citiz–’ and then the game horse kicks you in the balls until said testicles are just a fine emulsion of meat and tender paste. Every choice to be a good person in the game, should come with Nelson Munz‘ haw-hawing your stupidity. Even being a decent person makes you feel like a sap overall. My character, Rucker the Swift was presented with a moral dilemma and chose the path of good.

Then, he was shown the error of those ways by being transfigured into an old, saggy, wretched, smelly man with evil glowing eyes. The smell, I just guessed at. The wife used to work at a nursing home, and described the old people smell to me. But the man himself? I found myself tricked into helping evil people get away with stupid shit like stealing mutton and really stupid shit like retrieving dark artifacts. Also, a fun, and actually important side character in the game gets offed in such a cavalier and callous manner that I want to find Peter Molyneux and ask him who took HIS Rosie bear when HE was little, because it’s just WRONG!

There are some spoilers here, and it’s because I’ve completed the game, and the overall sense is that being good gets you NOTHING. I mean, you are literally robbed of everything at the endgame. Though, being able to interrupt the final villain’s speech with a well-placed bullet in his brain was DAMNED FINE. It made everything I got put through worthwhile. But so much shit happens to you, BAD shit, like…you just NEED that catharsis to handle how abrupt and shocking the endgame is. And the last choice you make? Bring on the horsekicking mules, because all the time in the game you thought you were a ‘Good’ guy, thought you were ‘Saintly’? The last choice in the game makes you look like a total punkass. You can either prove that you’re good, prove that you’re selfish, or prove that you are a human. The choice sucks. Not in a ‘this game is bad’ sucks. It sucks, because it’s a dilemma. None of the choices are cut and dried, and that’s what makes for a damned good game.

However, the game could have been longer.

And nicer to ‘good guys’.

Today’s comic? It’s about frustration. With games.

One game in particular: TNA Impact!…In a wrestling game, I’m willing to overlook crappy AI…I’m willing to overlook repetitive movesets in the very first outing…Like the WCW series before it, when it moved from iteration to iteration there were things that made the game great. What THQ, and later Yuke’s did with the grapple system for WCW/nWo Revenge and No Mercy was phenomenal. Now, the insane thing to me, a wrestling game fan, is that EA OWNS that grapple system. They bought it when they got the rights to do Def Jam: Vendetta. Inside baseball, I know, but EA bought the best grapple system for wrestling games ever, and then turned it into Def Jam.

Assholes.  But I digress.

So, Midway didn’t have any damned choice but to try something new.  Which ends up being a bit of hit or miss. The chain wrestling is great, but the lack of diversity of moves from character to character, and the story mode is interesting. Your character, Suicide, is currently enjoying a run as a dangerous newcomer in the real world. But whoever thought of the stick waggle as the recovery technique for a wrestling game should be ready to reap the rewards for such devilry.

I propose someone with more time to write a book than I have to create a ‘Witch’s Hammer’ (watch out, you Wiccans!)  for these things. Like ‘jumping puzzles’, ‘escort missions’, ’stealth portions’, out of place ‘Quick Time Events’ and all the other disease-ridden horse corpses of modern gaming, the ’stick waggle’ for ANY process in the game that you’ll do more than once, should be punishable by (at the very least) brutal dildos. A litany of sins, and a hierarchy of punishments for the same. I mean, I’d like to see a sort of Inquisition on the fools who make games, punishing them in inventive and painful ways for their tresspasses.

On that note, ‘Dante’s Inferno’ is supposed to be coming out as the next outing by EA. Hope they pause a moment in their tour of the 9 levels of Hell to take a look at my little slice…and take caution not to share the fate with the Midway programmer responsible for the ’stick waggle’.

Alienmastermind

Sometimes, when I’m doodling and writing jokes, I happen upon an easy one.  Making fun of an energy drink with a self-deprecating name is certainly going for the lowest of the low hanging fruit. But this was in keeping with the characters in the strip, and it’s the kind of joke Den would take a REAAAALLLY long time to wait and use. Den and Vic work at a games store, and they’re gamers, much like myself. Gamers need extra energy to continue playing through the night, and while my days of LAN parties til dawn are pretty much few and far between, the energy drink I spoke of seems to be the drug of choice for gamers.

Also, I hear that energy drinks are a fantastic hangover cure. So, one plus one equals gential humor.

In memorium of Rickles’ Pickles.

Poor little guy.

Of course, Blizzard are among the greatest artists and storytellers out there, and I have faith they can do wonders with Starcraft.

But, skeptical piece of crap I am, I just KNOW we’re getting screwed here.

What do you think?

Today’s comic is about the lack of gamer/nerd rage about discrimination. I think Vic is right on, make a protest song, and let people know that we’re not going to take it! Unless, of course ‘it’ is more than a few feet from our consoles and PCs. God, I’m winded just typing this sentence.

Did you read about how employers are making sure that the people they employ do not play World of Warcraft?
Check this out: http://www.gamepolitics.com/2008/12/17/are-employers-discriminating-against-wow-players

Sounds like bullshit on a stick to me, but I can see how the smell of Cheetos and the shouts of ’Buff! Buff!’ would disrupt a place like Morgan/Stanley. More on Friday, folks!

Thanks for reading.